... here it goes, this was an answer that Antariksh Bothale added on a question regarding broad-mindedness,
well truly well said, i liked the post very much and thought it was worth sharing:
This is an excellent and well-framed question, and I appreciate your candidness. The first (and the most important step) to change is acknowledging the need for it. Let's make an action plan! This answer has two parts. The first part has what I think anyone should do make themselves more broad-minded. The second part has a case-study putting these things in action on a problem that many young people face.
Part 1
You have now read half of this answer. Go back and review the material if you wish because now we are going to put it in action using a case study!
Part 2
Let's take a simple case study using the points I mentioned above. I am choosing one which will resonate with most young Indian folks.
Let's assume your family members told you that drinking alcohol is BAD. That you should NEVER EVER DO IT! (Remember, the world was black and white).
Think: Why should you not drink alcohol? The easy reason is that your mom asked you not to. But your friends say you should! Who should you listen to?
Reason it out: Why are your parents against it?
Our opinions are moulded by our environment. Most young people perceive drinking as harmless because the environment in which they see alcohol consumption consists of harmless fun with friends. Perhaps the occasional stupid or embarrassing incident, but nothing that you can't have a nice laugh at later. It is easy for them to associate with the happy image of a drunken night out with friends and that of casual social drinking, because that constitutes a large part of the stimulus they receive.
On the other hand, the generation before us grew up in considerably less richness (at least the lower and middle classes) and was probably exposed to a radically different environment. It consisted not of fun drinking but of movies depicting the lower and middle classes showing alcohol as the root of a LOT of evil (it still is; alcohol has ruined many families). Alcohol was also seen as a drain to hard-earned money. When alcohol is mentioned, they are first likely to think of a wasted man who squanders away the money his wife earned by doing sundry day jobs and then comes home and beats the same wife. Just think of the Bollywood movies of the 70s and you'd know what I am talking about.
For them, it is easier to associate with the image of failed livers and broken homes and widespread devastation than the romanticized version that young people stick around with, where alcohol leads to proposals and happily-ever-afters.
Black, White or Grey? It's easy to understand why your mother doesn't want you to drink alcohol, and it's also fairly easy to figure out why your friends want you to. What do you do? Stick with either the black or white or venture into the grey? Maybe restrict yourself to one drink a month? But what if you slide down the slippery slope and become an alcoholic? Well, YOU have to decide what to do and it's not my job to tell you.
Remember, the answer has to come through your own thought process. Even though it's difficult to come to a conclusion, you will always find the process ofthinking about issues very insightful and rewarding.
However figuring out what to do yourself is only the beginning of being open minded.
Don't be judgmental! So let's say you decided not to drink at all. That's perfectly fine. But your mom always talked of alcohol drinkers as bad bad people! How do you treat your friend when you know he drinks once every fortnight? Well, anarchy until conflict! You have already reasoned out that there is a pretty good reason for making the degree of alcohol consumption a matter of personal choice. You have made yours, and you should let your friend make his similarly unless there is some conflict. So yes, confront him if he frequently makes an ass of himself because of being drunk, but don't judge him solely because he chose a slightly different point from you on the spectrum.
Remember, YOU calibrate the barometer of your morality.
well truly well said, i liked the post very much and thought it was worth sharing:
This is an excellent and well-framed question, and I appreciate your candidness. The first (and the most important step) to change is acknowledging the need for it. Let's make an action plan! This answer has two parts. The first part has what I think anyone should do make themselves more broad-minded. The second part has a case-study putting these things in action on a problem that many young people face.
Part 1
- Indian culture places a lot of importance on respecting elders. Respect is fine but don't let it morph into absolute and unquestioning obedience. Every generation tries to converge to a set of values and system of morality. Your parents and grandparents converged to theirs and are probably not going to change. It's your turn now.
- Do not take anything at face value. Maintain a healthy level of skepticism about everything. Keep questioning. Every single opinion you have should be an outcome of your own thought-process. Ask yourself—"Why should X be like this?". If the first answer that comes to you is "Because my parents/grandparents told me so!" or "Because this is my culture!", it is not good enough and you need to think things out in your head.
- Learn to see the world in shades of grey. Throughout our childhood, we are presented the world in black and white. We are shown a world where things are either absolutely good or absolutely bad, with nothing in the middle. Alcohol is bad! He is a bad person! Sex before marriage is bad!
Such dichotomies are probably fine for little kids who don't yet have the experience or perspective to take informed decisions on their own, but they can't last you long into adulthood.
The real world is much more complicated, and a very important aspect of understanding it is acknowledging that we lose out on a lot of detail if we remain stuck to our boxes of Good/Bad.
Nature does not create these bins. We do. In nature, things just are. If your bins don't reflect reality, the bins have to changed or be scrapped. Reality won't. - Avoid being overly judgmental. Most people don't give a fuck about what you think of them anyway, so the only thing that being very judgmental does is put you inside a bubble of complacence.
- Keep 'em ideas coming. Read extensively. Discuss things with people. Always be receptive to new ideas, even if they seem to challenge what you already know or believe. Especially if they challenge what you already know or believe.
Identify a few people who are interesting in discussing issues and, in general, rationally analyzing things. Keep bringing up new topics with them and talk things out. I do it both online and offline. - Don't fear change. This might seem weird but questioning beliefs that we have held on to for long can often lead to a lot of mental turmoil. Not only do we cling on to our ideas, we often begin defining ourselves through them, making them difficult to get rid of. Always keep your mind flexible and accepting of change.
Remember, if our ideas don't reflect the reality, it's not reality that has to change; it's us. - Be aware of the impact of your actions. You don't exist in a vacuum. You are a part of a complex society and your actions contribute to the overall health of the society. One extra day of you remaining narrow minded is probably one extra day of a woman being considered inherently inferior to her male friends or one extra day of a gay person being forced to stay closeted and in fear of people like YOU.
- Support anarchy until conflict. As a very broad rule, let people do what they want until there is a conflict. In case of conflict, try to resolve the issue or the conflict instead of randomly stopping people from doing what they want.
You have now read half of this answer. Go back and review the material if you wish because now we are going to put it in action using a case study!
Part 2
Let's take a simple case study using the points I mentioned above. I am choosing one which will resonate with most young Indian folks.
Let's assume your family members told you that drinking alcohol is BAD. That you should NEVER EVER DO IT! (Remember, the world was black and white).
Think: Why should you not drink alcohol? The easy reason is that your mom asked you not to. But your friends say you should! Who should you listen to?
Reason it out: Why are your parents against it?
Our opinions are moulded by our environment. Most young people perceive drinking as harmless because the environment in which they see alcohol consumption consists of harmless fun with friends. Perhaps the occasional stupid or embarrassing incident, but nothing that you can't have a nice laugh at later. It is easy for them to associate with the happy image of a drunken night out with friends and that of casual social drinking, because that constitutes a large part of the stimulus they receive.
On the other hand, the generation before us grew up in considerably less richness (at least the lower and middle classes) and was probably exposed to a radically different environment. It consisted not of fun drinking but of movies depicting the lower and middle classes showing alcohol as the root of a LOT of evil (it still is; alcohol has ruined many families). Alcohol was also seen as a drain to hard-earned money. When alcohol is mentioned, they are first likely to think of a wasted man who squanders away the money his wife earned by doing sundry day jobs and then comes home and beats the same wife. Just think of the Bollywood movies of the 70s and you'd know what I am talking about.
For them, it is easier to associate with the image of failed livers and broken homes and widespread devastation than the romanticized version that young people stick around with, where alcohol leads to proposals and happily-ever-afters.
Black, White or Grey? It's easy to understand why your mother doesn't want you to drink alcohol, and it's also fairly easy to figure out why your friends want you to. What do you do? Stick with either the black or white or venture into the grey? Maybe restrict yourself to one drink a month? But what if you slide down the slippery slope and become an alcoholic? Well, YOU have to decide what to do and it's not my job to tell you.
Remember, the answer has to come through your own thought process. Even though it's difficult to come to a conclusion, you will always find the process ofthinking about issues very insightful and rewarding.
However figuring out what to do yourself is only the beginning of being open minded.
Don't be judgmental! So let's say you decided not to drink at all. That's perfectly fine. But your mom always talked of alcohol drinkers as bad bad people! How do you treat your friend when you know he drinks once every fortnight? Well, anarchy until conflict! You have already reasoned out that there is a pretty good reason for making the degree of alcohol consumption a matter of personal choice. You have made yours, and you should let your friend make his similarly unless there is some conflict. So yes, confront him if he frequently makes an ass of himself because of being drunk, but don't judge him solely because he chose a slightly different point from you on the spectrum.
Remember, YOU calibrate the barometer of your morality.
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